What it's like to be fat

I ain't talking about this kid

So this has been on my mind for some time. People are very quick to judge us fat people. Look first thing we know it's our own f**king fault. If we haven't eaten so much we wouldn't be in this chubby nightmare. BUT in cases like mine we can't really help it.

To get it out of the F**KING way before anyone makes smart ass comments like "Go jogging" "eat Healthy" "kill urseldf lololol" I eat 3 main meals a day with 3 in between snacks. Breakfast is usually all bran cereal, lunch is brown bread with no butter, dinner is usually spaghetti, greens and roast or braai on good days. In between I eat fruit. I walk 2 km a day home in the blazing sun with a jacket and a bag and I sweat a sh*t load. I drum for an hour straight so f**k you if you think I need exercise and no I won't play f**king sport because I hate it.

So that is out of the way let me give you the short and sweet (bad word choice) of being fat. It f**king BLOWS. Skinny people have the ignorant mindset that us fat people can do everything they can. No we can't climb a sand dune. No we can't run for 4 km's. No we can't go on a f**king jungle gym. No we can't climb on your back....ponce. 

You see in my condition I have an extremely slow metabolism. I eat minimal and I work out. Some skinny people I know eat a sh*t load and just sit around on their phones and they stay thin. My metabolism doesn't process food as fast as other peoples so I'm stuck with this ridiculous body although I do my best to get to the optimum weight and it usually ends in fail.

So now I have to just live with it and Lord does that suck. Here's a list of what I can't do:

-Can't run long distances

-Can't wear tight clothes

-Can't swim without a shirt (I can, but don't want to)

-Can't climb anything

-Can't jump high

-Can't dance

-Can't sit on weak chairs

-Can't wear pants without a belt

-Can't do activities like wrestling and martial arts

-Can't stand for long because my knees get f**k sore

-Can't do teambuilding activities

-Can't use proper drumming techniques 

Those are just out of the top of my head. Other things include I'm tired as hell at the end of the day, I never get clothes I want, sport is a no go, I struggle to get up stairs, my back hurts all the time.

Now skinny people imagine you were in my shoes. Those things at the top you can't suddenly do. Now imagine you have a 80 kg sack of sand on your back while dealing with not being able to do all those things and dealing with those problems I mentioned. Wouldn't your great life suck then? Have some sympathy before you start with your ridiculous suggestions on how I can get thin. 

Some fat people are in the wrong. They don't do anything to change their situation and just sit around becoming ... well fat. Those people I want to give a massive bitch slap because they are giving the fat demographic their stereotypical status. 

Now not to get all f**king depressing, but people making fun of me need to go to hell. I have feelings too even though I portray myself like a cynical friendless misanthrope in these rants. If you say "O his fat ass is too big to get on the climbing rails" I get hurt man. And if I wasn't such a pacifist I would have beaten their face into the ground.

I ain't saying it's ALL bad to be fat. I can make jokes with myself, get hugged a lot in winter by girls to get warm, put things on my stomach and hide crip notes under my pens. And sometimes us fat people get lucky

Anyway that is all. Go eat your f**king pizza